For years people have come to Cheltenham to “take the waters”: George III,
Lord Byron, Jane Austen and Charles Dickens all gave it a go. Dickens was
particularly impressed. “Rarely have I seen such a place that so attracted
my fancy,” he commented.
Cheltenham's Regency pump room is still attracting a trickle of visitors, but
I recently joined the water takers in a different way, at the plush (rather
peculiar) Hotel on the Park.
Almost all the rooms, you see, have hot tubs, “chromatherapy baths”,
“aromatherapy baths” or “infinity baths”. Mine had an “infinity” tub with
water that flowed in a raging torrent from a ceiling spout - taking me
completely by surprise at first as I hadn't read the instructions properly.
The water in the huge bath (big enough for a baby hippo) seeped over the edges
into a trough, while bubbles emanated from nozzles, and mesmerising lights
flickered blue-green-yellow-red-purple.
This may sound like an enormous gimmick, but it was strangely relaxing. I very
much enjoyed my infinity bath. Every room should have one.
But it was not all happy bathing at the hotel, which is in a distinguished
three-storey Regency building overlooking Pittville Park - named after
Joseph Pitt, who built Pittville estate in the 19th century, and perfectly
placed for this week's Cheltenham horse-racing festival.
The interior was as well turned out as a Gold Cup winner. My room, named after
the Scottish 19th-century novelist Catherine Sinclair, a former guest, was
in classic Regency style: elegant striped wallpaper, gold-framed mirrors,
oriental lamps and comfortable matching armchairs.
There was a sense of the outlandish, with a large picture of an elephant above
the giant bed, curtains with a camel print, lamp-shades with a palm tree
motif, and slightly dubious antique candlesticks held by “natives”.
But it was also, no doubt about it, noisy. The noise came from passing traffic
on Evesham Road; the double glazing did not keep out the sound. I'd expected
peace and quiet at a hotel on a park, but I'd been wrong. How could the room
look so good and the sound-proofing be so poor? You could hear cars shifting
gears - and it made me wonder how much nicer Pittville Park must have been
when Dickens visited.
I did eat well, however. Parkers, the restaurant, was Cotswold Life magazine's
pick of the year in 2006. My carrot and coriander soup followed by corn-fed
chicken with mushrooms was good; my only quibble was that the soup was a
touch watery. Modern jazz played, there was candlelight, and everyone seemed
to enjoy themselves.
For a fun spot to stay and have a nice bath during the races at Cheltenham
(rooms fully booked this week), you can do a lot worse than this hotel. Just
don't forget your earplugs.
Bottom line Mystery Guest paid £220 for a double. Doubles start at
£139.50
Sampling the fare Two courses £29pp with wine
Best thing The bath
Worst thing Car noise
Need to know Hotel on the Park (01242 518898, www.hotelonthepark.com),
Evesham Road, GL52 2AH
Room 6 out of 10
Food 7 out of 10
Service 6 out of 10
Value 4.5 out of 10
Score 5.88
PUT TO THE TEST: 20 Mystery Guest questions for... Hotel on the Park,
Cheltenham
1. Do rooms have kettles/coffee makers? And is there fresh milk?
No.
2. Is there a hairdryer, and is it fixed to a wall?
Hand-held hairdryers.
3. Are coathangers metal, wooden, removable?
Wooden and removable.
4. Complimentary bottle of water?
No.
5. Sheets and blankets or duvets?
Sheets and duvets.
6. What about a 'pillow menu'?
No.
7. Is lighting good enough for reading?
Yes.
8. Is there a shaving/make up mirror? And is it well lit?
Yes, though depends on the room.
9. What about the in-room entertainment system?
Flatscreen televisions, DVD and CD players.
10. Is there a temperature control panel?
No, you must adjust radiators. There is no air-conditioning, but in the summer
fans are available on request.
11. Do the windows open?
Yes.
12. Is there good sound-proofing?
Not in Mystery Guest's room. The hotel said that the soundproofing is "as
much as it can be for a Grade II listed building".
13. Is there wi-fi internet access?
Free wi-fi.
14. Is there a good place to go jogging nearby?
Yes - Pittville Park.
15. What is the vegetarian food selection like?
Normally two vegetarian dishes and four fish dishes.
16. Is there baby listening/babysitting? And are children welcome at
adults' evening meals?
"We tend to discourage children, it is not really a family hotel."
However there is baby listening on request.
17. Is there wheelchair access to all areas?
To public areas but not to rooms.
18. Do you get a free paper in the morning?
No.
19. Is there a pub round the corner?
A five-minute walk to pubs in the town centre.
20. Is there free car parking? And is it secure?
Yes, but not secure.
Took my family to the restaurant for a birthday dinner celebration (7 people). Service was friendly but not very polished. The longer the evening went on, the slower it became. One of the deserts was forgotten about and we eventually left early. A near £500 bill and complusory 10% service charge!!
Jon Langley, Tewkesbury, UK
I recently stayed at the Hotel on the Park and can say that there has been vast improvement since the writing of this article. The rooms have been extensively refurbished and air-conditioning installed in each room with individual controls.
Marcus Neal, Bristol, UK