Parkschloesschen looks an unlikely place to experience the ancient Indian
therapy of Ayurveda. It is dusted with snow and, at only a little over an
hour’s flight from the UK, a whole lot closer than India.
The elegant Art-Deco building on the edge of a quiet German town is surrounded
by vineyards. I’m tired, my skin looks ropey and I’m ready for 14 days of
Panchakarma, a mellow detox therapy, which works by combining treatments,
gentle exercise, enemas (or bastis), and a vegetarian diet, all
devised according to your Ayurvedic dosha (or physical type).
An Ayurvedic doctor tells me that I’m a vata-pitta, which means
that I’m energetic, active and not very relaxed. I’m allocated a green
bedroom, to “earth me”, and the following morning I’m served my dose of ghee
(or clarified butter), which, according to the Ayurveda therapists, will
help to dislodge nasty fat-soluble toxins. By contrast, British doctors tend
to fear that the stuff clogs your arteries. A few days later, I have a dose
of castor oil to rid my body of other toxins, which is pretty disgusting —
but nothing compared with the morning bastis I have afterwards.
Despite the enemas, I manage to enjoy myself, taking one-to-one yoga classes,
lounging in a lemon-grass-scented sauna, reading on while lounging on soft
wool blankets by the swimming pool. I take bike rides along the pretty River
Mosel and try one of the spa’s mini-trampoline sessions, which leaves me
grinning like a Cheshire cat.
My daily treat is an Ayurvedic massage, scrub or steam bath. During my first vishesh
— a vigorous sesame oil massage given by two therapists — I hear an owl hoot
in the surrounding forest. A hot water bottle soothes my feet, my tum, my
back, and the massage progresses with perfect synchronicity.
My worst day is the tenth, when I develop a persistent headache, accompanied
by extreme tiredness. The staff claim that this is a sign that the toxins
are leaving my body.
By the time I leave, my energy levels have started to rise, my body feels
lighter, my mind more lucid. A week afterwards, I am told that I look taller
and my skin, even if I say so myself, looks absolutely bloody marvellous.
Quality of treatments Brilliant. They are mainly Ayurvedic
but facials are also on offer.
Therapists Expert and trustworthy. Practitioners were
European, rather than Indian, and not all of them spoke English, although
there were English speakers as well.
Ambience The hotel is in an elegant European style with a
piano in the foyer. The pool/spa area is slightly more oriental in
atmosphere, and despite the relatively strict regimen it is not an austere
clinic.
In-crowd The hotel caters only for people who specifically
want Ayurvedic treatments. This includes a wide range of mainly German-
speaking guests from stressed businessmen and women to ladies who usually
lunch.
Food I’m served specially tailored Ayurvedic treats — from
Asian red-lentil soup to an Indian pistachio dessert. There is a strict
no-alcohol policy but the desserts are gorgeous, and taste accidentally
healthy.
Wallet watch an all-inclusive taster day at £160 per
person; to an all-inclusive 13 night Panchakarma from £3,060 per person, not
including flights.
Do it again Yes — but only for a shorter “top-up”.
Need to know Parkschloesschen, Bad Wildstein,
Traben-Trarbach, Germany, 00 49 0 6541 7050, www.parkschloesschen.de
. Three flights daily from London Stansted to Frankfurt-Hahn with Ryan Air, www.ryanair.com
