Having a baby is rarely easy. Joan Rivers recalls her experience thus: “I
remember screaming, ‘Get this thing out of me. Get this thing out of me’ –
that was just conception.” And it’s all downhill from there, though few
plummet quite as deep as my friend did.
Meet Jojo Winkelmann: 16 days overdue, a labour that, for the sake of your
Sunday morning, is best summarised as memorable, and a son set on Sydney
time (asleep all day, awake all night). If ever a new mother needed a trip
to a spa to rediscover her inner self, it was Mrs Winkelmann.
But, ridiculously, in a woman’s postpartum hour of need, spas withdraw the
welcome mat. The simple fact is they aren’t keen on those who wear nappies –
unless it’s as part of some expensive body wrap. And new mothers may be
desperate for some TLC but they’re not keen on leaving junior at home.
Fortunately, a new travel company has come to the rescue: Tots Too
specialises in ferreting out top-quality spas that are
mother-and-child-friendly.
The company’s evolution is reassuringly organic. Five years ago, sisters Emma
and Deborah Barnett established a successful luxury spa-tour operation
called Essential Escapes. At the time, both were single. “Most of our
clients were also single,” explains Emma. “Then we got married – and so did
our clients. We arranged their honeymoons, which was easy. Then we had
babies – and so did our clients. We all wanted to keep visiting spas, but
were now having to wonder if the resort could supply sterilisers and travel
cots, if it was going to be impossible to negotiate with a buggy. It was a
different ball game.”
The sisters realised there was a gap for a niche operator that embraced the
family-spa market, and were soon back on the road, reassessing their
favourite pampering palaces for their suitability for daughters Madeline and
Noa. The result, Tots Too, is a worldwide family-friendly spa programme,
covering everything from baby-sitting costs to on-site doctors, with equally
detailed sections for toddlers through to teenagers. It also offers
discounts for airport valet services: you don’t want to be getting shuttle
buses with a buggy and a bagful of nappies – and, in fact, as you don’t want
to carry those nappies in the first place, Tots Too also has a deal with a
company that will send your progeny’s paraphernalia ahead to make transit
easier.
So Jojo, 14-week-old Charlie and I set off for a long weekend in the Med to
road-test one of Tots Too’s top tips, the Elounda hotels complex in Crete.
This upmarket resort is tucked into prime real estate on the island’s
northeast coast, overlooking the absurdly azure waters of Mirabello Bay and
framed by arthritic knuckles of rocky peninsula. There are three
accommodation choices: the six-star Elounda Peninsula All Suite, which is
glitzy enough to satisfy the likes of Pamela Anderson; the five-star Elounda
Mare, a more restrained number for blue-bloods such as David Cameron; and
the four-star Porto Elounda De Luxe, where the woman one lounger along
making a lot of noise is probably a Greek pop star. There’s no need to
splash the cash on the flashier billets because the De Luxe guests have
access to all areas, including its siblings’ glam bars and restaurants, all
14 of them.
But choice is only a bonus if, in practice, the whole family really are
welcome. So we pitched up with a wide-awake baby at its poshest diner,
Calypso, all starched linens and silver service, and overseen by a
Michelin-decorated French chef. There was not even a hint of slackening in
the staff’s Jehovah’s Witness-style grins as we manoeuvred the buggy to an
outdoor table by the reflecting pool. And the modern Greek cuisine,
infiltrated by French favourites such as foie gras, was very enjoyable.
The hotels also share a golf course, tennis courts, the award-winning
Children’s Ark club (for ages six months to 10 years), and several swimming
pools and sandy beaches. And although the ambience in the public areas of
the grander establishments is more intimate (they have fewer than half the
De Luxe’s 168 rooms), once you’ve closed your door, the difference isn’t so
significant. The De Luxe’s rooms are smaller but there’s not much to quibble
over decor-wise. All three feature breezy, seasidey colour schemes and
comfortable furniture that is more in keeping with the four-star than the
self-proclaimed six-star.
The acid test, of course, was the spa. Could it help Jojo shed that postnatal
weariness? It is managed by Six Senses, which also owns the terribly trendy
Soneva Fushi and Gili spas in the Maldives where A-listers such as Madonna
and Elizabeth Hurley go to unwind. The hotels are perfectly nice, but the
spa is in a league above. It oozes style and serenity from the moment you
cross the bridge over the pebble pond and into the Tepidarium. This vast
reception hall has a double-height glass wall to maximise its
drop-dead-gorgeous bay views, soothing champagne-and-caramel-coloured stone,
soaring pillars and a Scarlett O’Hara sweep of staircase up to the treatment
rooms.
Then there was the range of complementary therapies. We dipped into the
thalassotherapy pool for a DIY massage, directing fierce jets of seawater to
precisely those bits of our necks and shoulders that needed pummelling. We
took the swim-through to the alfresco area and lay on the bubble loungers
for as long as we could stand the scorching sun. There were also various
scented hammams, saunas and steam rooms to test out, and an ice pool for the
adventurous.
By the time I caught up with Jojo in the cavernously creamy relaxation room,
after her organic facial, she was so blissed out that she was walking like a
zombie. Settling onto a velvet-draped lounger beside a glass pond, she
sipped her green tea and declared that the shoulder pain she’d had since
Charlie’s birth had disappeared.
It was her L’Oréal moment – the instant she realised she was worth it – and
the woman who three hours earlier had been fretting about leaving her little
boy with a resort nanny was now looking decidedly miffed that she’d have to
take him back quite soon. The next day, after a holistic massage and another
leisurely trawl of the facilities, her chakras were positively shimmying.
The weekend was not without its fraught moments. For example, the nanny
decided to cut Charlie’s (admittedly long) fingernails – this felt oddly
intrusive – and the car for our return airport transfer didn’t have the baby
seat that had been requested by Tots Too (he had to wobble along in a
pull-down booster seat).
But, three weeks on, the shoulder pain has yet to return. Though something
inestimably more important has reappeared: Jojo’s got her mojo back. Next
time, she’s in for a week.
Susan d’Arcy and Jojo Winkelmann travelled as guests of Tots Too (020 7284
3344, www.totstoo.com), GB Airways
(0870 850 9850, www.gbairways.com )
and Tiny Tots Away (01257 424241, www.tinytotsaway.com
). Three nights at Porto Elounda De Luxe cost from £565pp, B&B,
including flights from Gatwick to Crete with GB Airways and private car
transfers
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