Hannah Fletcher
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After ten years spent worrying about losing his most valuable business asset, Ilja Gort slept soundly last night, finally safe in the knowledge that no matter what happens to the rest of him, his nose is insured to the teeth.
The 47-year-old Dutch wine producer has had his nose and sense of smell insured for five million Euros (£4 million) by Lloyd’s of London, it was announced yesterday.
Mr Gort, who owns Château de la Garde in Bordeaux, France, and runs Tulipe Wines, approached the insurance provider last month after his wine won a number of awards in France and Britain.
“We won some important medals and I realised how necessary it was to have a nose,” he told The Times. “It is my most important asset. A lot of people feel that winemaking is about the taste buds but we do it with the nose, in fact.”
While the tongue can taste only five different flavours, the nose can distinguish millions of scents. Although Mr Gort said he thought his coverage should have been higher, he admitted: “Every time I look in the mirror now I feel rich. I just hope I fall on my face . . . No, actually, I’m a bit more careful with my nose than before. I’ve stopped nose-picking. And I like skiing very much but from now on, no more.” The insurance policy states that he may not participate in winter sports, boxing or fire breathing. He may not work as a knife-thrower’s assistant; he may not become pregnant and he may not commit suicide.
Before drawing up the policy Jonathan Thomas, the lead underwriter at Watkins Syndicate and “body-part insurance specialist”, had Mr Gort’s nose thoroughly tested. “It was far above the mediocre nose,” said Mr Gort proudly. “He had a very good sense of smell,” Mr Thomas agreed. “And [£4 million] is quite high up there.”
In his time, Mr Thomas has insured the legs, hands, ankles and mouths of public figures across the world. One star even wanted his chest hair insured but, said Mr Thomas, it was simply too great a fire risk.
In Mr Gort’s case, with an eight-inch handlebar moustache perilously below his nose, one of the greatest risks is that he goes to a bad barber, said Mr Thomas. “He goes to the wrong barber and he’s in trouble . . . I’m in trouble, all of the other underwriters are in trouble.”
Cost of insuring some familiar bodyparts
£5m America Ferrera’s smile, below – the most expensive body part
ever insured by Lloyd’s of London
£4m Ken Dodd’s teeth
£3.5m Bruce Springsteen’s voice
£1.15m Heidi Klum’s legs (the pair)
£500,000 or $1 million. Betty Grable’s legs, the Hollywood
bodypart benchmark
£350,000 Dolly Parton’s breasts (the pair)
£250,000 Egon Ronay’s tastebuds
£200,000 The cricketer Merv Hughes’s handlebar moustache
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Ron Jeremy better get on the case!! before it's too late!
Adam Webb, MK, UK