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Shoppers ambled around the aisles in Tesco across the road. A tramp was slumped, looking hopeless, next to a cash machine.
Youngsters wearing skinny jeans and lime-green trainers walked towards the pier. An eccentric with a long ginger beard and an orange waistcoat shuffled by. And a group of raffish kids stared upwards, giggling.
What were they staring at? What were they finding so funny? The answer, it seemed, was myhotel Brighton ... and its guests.
Myhotel Brighton opened a fortnight ago, becoming the third in the myhotel group (there are London branches in Bloomsbury and Chelsea).
Andy Thrasyvoulou, the myhotel group founder, describes his new hotel as being “where Freddie Mercury meets the Maharishi”. He's a fan of such phrases: Chelsea is “where Sex and the City meets Brideshead Revisited” and Bloomsbury is “where East meets West”.
The hotel is highly trendy: fantastic rooms with curvy, bright-white walls that made me imagine I was in a space-age cave. There was an oval window in one of the curves, looking through into a shower room with a Brighton-rock pink floor. In a circular hole in another wall near a flat-screen TV, a crystal the size of a cricket ball had been placed.
Lights aiming at this crystal flicked through the colours of the rainbow, encouraging “serene spirituality and the principles of feng shui” (so the website said).
Passing a giant bed and walking across a carpet with a pretzel-like pattern, I walked to the ceiling-to-floor window. This was in an alcove with a cream leather chaise longue. I lay down on this, and feeling very comfortable, looked out at the odd selection of passers-by.
It was then that I noticed something: quite a few of them were looking back at me. The amazing thing about the rooms at the front of the hotel is that people walking by on the small street - and even shoppers in Tesco (I went in to check) - can see into the bedrooms. For a moment I froze.
This is absolutely mad, I thought, feeling on display to the world: like a lady of the night in the red-light district in Amsterdam, perhaps. It was just lucky, for everyone concerned, I hadn't headed straight for the shower.
I'd assumed that the windows, which appeared tinted, were one-way. But they were clearly not. Several times groups stopped to stare.
I pulled down the blind and went to the curvy, futuristic downstairs bar. There is soon also to be a curvy, futuristic restaurant with food by Aldo Zilli, the celebrity chef. But for the time being there's the bar with a short Zilli menu.
This was excellent. I tried the lobster ravioli (good) and a punchy margarita, still trying to get my head around my strange room. I couldn't. What a peculiar hotel.
Bottom line Mystery Guest paid £149 for a B&B double
Sampling the fare £28.90 for two courses and two drinks
Best thing Its madness
Worst thing Its madness
Need to know myhotel Brighton (01273 900300, www.myhotels.com), 17 Jubilee Street, BN1 1GE
Room 8.5 out of 10 (if you draw the blind), 2 out of 10 (if you don't)
Food 8 out of 10
Service 7 out of 10
Value 7 out of 10
Score 6.5
PUT TO THE TEST: 20 Mystery Guest questions for... myhotel Brighton
1. Do rooms have kettles/coffee makers? And is there fresh milk?
Yes. Fresh milk on request.
2. Is there a hairdryer, and is it fixed to a wall?
Yes, a hand-held hairdryer.
3. Are coathangers metal, wooden, removable?
Plastic, removeable.
4. Complimentary bottle of water?
Yes.
5. Sheets and blankets or duvets?
Duvets.
6. What about a 'pillow menu'?
Regular and hypoallergenic pillows available.
7. Is lighting good enough for reading?
Yes.
8. Is there a shaving/make up mirror? And is it well lit?
Yes.
9. What about the in-room entertainment system?
Flat-screen television, speakers fitted flush to the ceiling, an MP3 docking station, and a DVD player.
10. Is there a temperature control panel?
Yes.
11. Do the windows open?
Yes.
12. Is there good sound-proofing?
Reasonable.
13. Is there wi-fi internet access?
Yes, complimentary.
14. Is there a good place to go jogging nearby?
The hotel is next to Jubilee Square and a few minutes from the seafront.
15. What is the vegetarian food selection like?
Good veggie choice.
16. Is there baby listening/babysitting? And are children welcome at adults' evening meals?
Not at present but the hotel does welcome children.
17. Is there wheelchair access to all areas?
Yes.
18. Do you get a free paper in the morning?
Yes.
19. Is there a pub round the corner?
Several.
20. Is there free car parking? And is it secure?
There is secure car parking - 17 spaces. However, parking costs £20 for 24 hours.
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