The Weary has decor you would expect to find in a London members’ club — all chocolate-coloured walls and spotlit alcoves. I spotted a tall vase holding those ubiquitous twigs and thought I had this “restaurant with rooms” sussed: a wannabe venue too big for its boots.

But then I met the charming owner, Ian Boyd, and began to soften. I asked about our dinner reservations, to be told: “Don’t worry, it’s all taken care of.” And it was.

We took lunch on the lovely patio. Mine was an enormous Stilton and grape sandwich. My husband’s Caesar salad came with chunky croutons. As much food as possible is locally sourced — including fresh free-range eggs — and Boyd has plans to add wind turbines and solar panels to provide “green electricity”.

After an afternoon scrambling over Hadrian’s Wall it was lovely to return to an enormous bed smothered in cushions, crisp cotton sheets and a shower the size of my first flat. And after a few minutes of soaking in a hot tub watching an Alec Guinness film, I realised that a plasma TV above a bath is one of life’s necessities.

The food was special, too. Despite my fondness for a pie and a pint, I can manage a burgundy and a three-course belter when called upon. Gill, Boyd’s wife, runs the kitchen, and it produced an awesome meal in a buzzing, candlelit dining room.

Distrustful of menus that offer flavours from too many different countries, I ordered the duck spring rolls, in a bid to recover my initial scepticism. The pastry was crisp, and the filling moist and delicious. My husband’s tower of mushrooms, chorizo and black pudding was equally impressive and Pisa-like in its dimensions. A special mention should be reserved for the “assiette of today’s desserts”. Working on the logic that a two-hour walk justifies four puddings, I polished them off, particularly enraptured by a perfect crème brûlée.

I had to be almost rolled up the stairs to our gorgeous room. Astonishingly, we managed to find space for a well-executed full English breakfast the next morning. A vegan at an adjacent table resignedly ordered the porridge. It is indicative of the hospitality at The Weary that Boyd reappeared from the kitchen to offer an off-menu vegan English breakfast, seemingly conjured from nowhere. And breakfast hours are extended on a Sunday, another detail that converted me to The Weary’s considerable charms.

Bottom line: Antonia Senior paid £95 for bed and breakfast, and £157 on dinner for two, including drinks.

What we think: ideal for a classy dirty weekend.

Best thing: the hospitality.

Worst thing: my jeans no longer fit.

Access all areas: No.

Need to know: The Weary (01228 670230, www.theweary.com ), Castle Carrock, near Carlisle.

Room: 8 out of 10.

Food: 8 out of 10.

Service: 9 out of 10.

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