Type “family friendly hotel” into Google and you’ll be offered something in the region of 176,000 results. Can there really be that many?

In my experience, there are plenty of hotels that claim to welcome children. What they mean is that they are not overly alarmed at the theoretical idea of your offspring, providing they’re all on their best behaviour and look like Boden catalogue models. It’s the burping, farting, shouting, tantrum-throwing, snot-nosed reality they’re not so keen on.

I know this because I’m a parent. I’ve watched an Armani-clad waiter serve my daughter a Diet Coke in a long-stemmed wineglass, only to get in a flap when – surprise, surprise – she accidentally knocked it flying. Then there was the five-star hotel in the Caribbean where my son waited three-quarters of an hour for his “special” children’s meal – a lump of well-done steak as big as his foot. If we hadn’t told him he could spit it into his napkin, he’d probably still be chewing it today.

But there are worthy exceptions – hotels that will indulge your kids, tolerate their mood swings, give them things they really want and perhaps even take them off your hands for a few hours.

Here are some of the best child-friendly hotels in the Mediterranean – whether you’ve got tots, tweens or teenagers.

Unless stated, all prices include flights from a London airport and transfers. For regional departures, contact the tour operator

Tots (0-6 years)

THE ALMYRA, Cyprus

The Almyra looks like the kind of designer hotel you’d find in the South Beach district of Miami, not the low-key resort of Paphos. The look is minimalist, with immaculate white sofas, oversized chandeliers and black-slate swimming pools. Arriving with our daughter, who was 11 months old at the time, made me nervous.

I needn’t have been. The Almyra may be hip, with sexy modern furniture and a sushi chef from Nobu, but its owners and staff clearly enjoy the company of young children. Within seconds of our arrival, a grinning receptionist had scooped up our daughter for a cuddle while a waiter handed us fresh juice.

A lot of thought has gone into the way the hotel functions. As well as a children’s pool, a lawned play area and an air-conditioned kids’ club, it offers child-sized versions of mum and dad’s towelling robes and slippers. At bedtime, children can phone reception to order (free) milk and cookies.

But the cleverest wheeze is to allow parents to preorder essential baby holiday paraphernalia, such as nappies, wipes and organic food – at local Mothercare prices – and to provide changing mats, sterilisers, baby gyms and bouncy chairs, all at no extra cost.

We found the staff delightful and the food excellent. Only the beach was disappointing – it was unkempt, with murky water. Most guests, however, were happy sunbathing on the grass or beside the pool, which is ringed by plump day beds and white cotton awnings. And we didn’t get a single dirty look for having dared to procreate. The price: a week, B&B, starts at £719pp in August, or £699pp in September, with Airline Network (0870 234 9916, www.airlinenetwork.co.uk). One child under 12, sharing the parents’ room, adds £212/£192; for children under two, the price is £45 each.

HOTEL L’ONDINE, Corsica

Corsica has some of the finest beaches and most photogenic coastlines in the Mediterranean, but not an abundance of family-friendly hotels.

That’s why Direct Corsica’s Iain and Janet Rankin, who have been organising holidays on the island for more than 30 years, got so excited when they came across the family-run Hôtel l’Ondine, in the quiet resort of Algajola, near Calvi.

The hotel has just 53 rooms – including some designed for families – and a large swimming pool set in luscious grounds. And you’re only a few strides from a long, clean, sandy beach where toddlers can catch tiddlers in rock pools.

You won’t find any Turkey Twizzlers or dinosaur-shaped nuggets at the hotel restaurant, although the chef will happily tweak his gourmet menu for younger palates. And if your youngest has gone to bed before dinner time, you can always use your half-board option at lunch. The price: a week, half-board, starts at £420pp in August, or £303pp in September, excluding flights, with Direct Corsica (07771 953225, www.directcorsica.com). Children under two go free. Fly to Bastia with British Airways (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com), from Gatwick, or Thomsonfly (www.thomsonfly.com), from Bristol, Edinburgh, Birmingham or Gatwick.

LYKIA WORLD VILLAGE, Turkey

When you first have children, you cease to care whether a hotel has 16 brands of mineral water and cotton sheets with a thread count of 350. You’re more interested in the length of the transfer, and whether there’s somewhere you can heat up milk in the middle of the night.

The four-star Lykia World Village, near Oludeniz, might not be the sort of place where fashionistas would go on honeymoon, but it ticks all the vital boxes for stressed parents. As well as the gorgeous sandy seafront, it has a baby pool, a baby play area, a dedicated baby beach (safe, clean and shaded) and a 24-hour kitchen for feeding, sterilising bottles and heating milk. What’s more – and this is the really good bit – the hotel has a supervised club where you can leave children aged between six months and three years for up to nine hours a day, six days a week, free of charge.

There is stacks for older brothers and sisters to do, including a water park with 15 slides and six pools, an arts-and-crafts zone and a children’s theatre, along with judo training, a trampoline, a climbing net and beach football.

Staff? Charming. Grounds? Beautiful. Rooms? Clean and tidy (though nothing special). The price: a week, full-board, costs £832pp in August (£400 for the first child aged 2-16; children under 2 £35 each), or £556pp in September (first child free), with Cosmos (0871 622 4317, www.cosmosholidays.co.uk).

PINE CLIFFS, Portugal

Some resorts fall in and out of fashion, but the Algarve remains a perennial family favourite. Why? Because the journey is relatively easy – three-hour flight, lots of regional departures and speedy transfers – the locals are friendly, English is widely spoken and the quality of the hotels is (mostly) high.

Pine Cliffs is among the best: a Sheraton-run five-star with six restaurants, four swimming pools, all-weather tennis courts, a golf academy and one of the best-equipped children’s clubs anywhere in Europe. It’s set in immaculate grounds atop brick-red cliffs, and there is even a lift to take guests down to the beach.

The kids’ club, Porto Pirata (www.luxurycollection.com/ portopirata), is like a hotel within a hotel, with its own pool, 18-hole mini-golf course, volleyball court, sandpit, climbing frames and cycle track. The staff are hugely enthusiastic, there’s a children’s buffet laid on from 5pm and – nice touch, this – the hotel runs a free laundry service for kids’ clothes. The price: a week, B&B, costs a total of £2,120 in August, or £2,040 in September, for two adults and one child, with ITC Classics (01244 355527, www. itcclassics.co.uk). Porto Pirata costs £70 a day for ages six months to three years, £47 for 3-4s and £41 for 5-8s, with discounts for three or more days.

Tweens (7-12 years) Teens (13-18 years)

IL PALMENTO, Puglia

There is a theory that if you take your children to a beautiful hotel, they’ll behave beautifully. It’s an appealing idea, and it might occasionally work, but in order not to tempt fate, here’s a better one: take your children to a beautiful hotel in Italy, where even the most unruly bambini will be welcomed with open arms.

Set amid the wild, arid countryside of Puglia, Il Palmento (www.ilpalmento.com) is a small, privately owned four-star hotel with 12 plush suites set in restored trulli (stone farm buildings with distinctive conical roofs).

It has a restaurant that serves Puglian specialities at sensible prices, tennis courts, a children’s playground and two swimming pools – one for kids – that overlook olive groves. You can hire bikes, arrange baby-sitters, call room service 24 hours a day or ask the hotel to set up riding lessons nearby. If you feel adventurous, rent a car and explore the nearby towns of Locorotondo and Alberobello, the caves at Castellana and the stylish clifftop resort of Polignano a Mare. The price: a week, B&B, based on a family of four sharing a suite, costs £651pp in August or the October half-term week (under12s £347/£391), excluding flights, with Discovery Travel (01889 882170, www.discovery-travel. co.uk). Ryanair (0871 246 0000, www.ryanair.com) serves Brindisi and Bari, both of which are about 50 miles away; British Airways (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com) flies to Bari.

FORTE VILLAGE, Sardinia

Forte Village is the Marmite of Mediterranean beach hotels. A lot of British families love it so much, the first thing they do when they get home is book their next visit. Others can’t see what the fuss is all about, and moan about the high prices and noisy children.

Before you commit, you need to weigh up a few things. This is not the “real” Sardinia. Most guests at Forte Village never leave the confines of the resort. And, while the beach is lovely – white sand, turquoise water – it’s not the most spectacular on the island. You may also find that during high season, the whole place feels a little crowded. That’s how the Italians like it.

Not that you’ll hear your children complaining. They’ll be too busy splashing in the pools, taking part in football tournaments or checking out the go-karting. If they get tired of all that, they can hang out at the seven-lane bowling alley or the outdoor skating rink.

What makes Forte Village ideal for the “tween” age group is the independence it gives them. Safe from the outside world, they can skip between beach and pool, tear around on bikes, play tennis with their new friends and, in the evenings, watch fashion shows and live bands at the “village square”. All of which leaves mum and dad to have a jolly nice time by themselves. The price: a week, half-board, costs a total of £4,290 in August, or £3,296 in September, for two adults and two children under 12 sharing a family cottage at the four-star Il Villaggio, with Citalia (0870 909 7554, www.citalia.com). The resort closes before October half-term week.

HOTEL PRESIDENTE, Ibiza

If your idea of a good time in Ibiza is to writhe around in foam until 5am while listening to thudding techno, don’t go to Portinatx. Far from the fleshpots of seedy San Antonio, it’s a quiet family resort with three sandy beaches wedged between pine groves and sparkling blue seas.

One of the beaches, Es Portitxol, has sheltered waters, perfect for snorkelling and swimming. Rent a car and you can explore the winding coast road, visiting tiny coves framed by green hills, and the hippie market at Es Canar.

The north of Ibiza is dotted with secret beaches, among the finest of which is Cala Mastella. Climb over the rocks at one end of the cove and you’ll find a rustic waterfront restaurant where you can lunch on guisat de peix, a fish stew cooked over a wood-fired stove.

You’ll want to stay at the Hotel Presidente, which gets glowing reviews from families. Overlooking a pretty beach, it offers a packed menu of activities and a Kidzone club, free for children aged 3-12, run by the tour operator Thomson. The price: a week, half-board, starts at £584pp in August, or £465pp in October half-term. One child under 16 sharing goes for £384/£279; a second adds £484/£379. Book at www.takethefamily.com or direct with Thomson (0870 162 5661, www.thomson.co.uk).

VILA VITA PARC, Algarve

Here’s proof that a hotel can bend over backward to look after its youngest guests while still clinging to its treasured five stars. Vila Vita Parc is a classy place with imposing Moorish architecture, subtropical gardens and direct access to two small beaches.

There are plenty of facilities to keep families amused, including a tennis centre, a nine-hole pitch-and-putt course, three swimming pools and a spa and diagnostic medical centre. Although the hotel has 182 rooms, it never feels crowded.

The ideal age for children here is 4-12: that’s when they can sign up to Annabella’s, a free supervised club with its own playground, football pitch and trampoline. Activities include T-shirt painting, magic shows, pyjama parties, fashion modelling, nature walks and an excursion to Zoomarine, a sea-life park with dolphin and seal shows. It’s a cut above the usual. The price: the biggest family suites at Vila Vita Parc sleep up to six people and cost £5,000 a week. But there’s a less pricey option: take a standard room with Cresta Holidays (0870 161 0950, www.crestaholidays.co.uk) and you pay £1,471pp for a week, B&B, in August and £1,075pp in October half-term. At least one child under 12 can share at no extra cost and, depending on the children’s ages and the size of the room, the hotel will try to accommodate a second free of charge.

LA CASELLA, Umbria

If you fancy a break from buckets and spades, why not take the kids riding in the hills of Umbria? La Casella is a farming estate set in 1,000 acres of unspoilt countryside near Orvieto. Four farmhouses have been converted to accommodate 32 guest rooms, and there is a riding school with 40 horses.

Children aged 4-10 can sign up for lessons at the pony club. They even get the opportunity to try their hand at dressage if they’re up for it.

La Casella also has a playground and playhouse, an adventure field with a rope bridge, canoeing, archery and mountain bikes for hire, as well as swimming pools and a tennis court. Families eat together, Italian-style. The price: a week, full-board, including wine with meals, costs £567pp in August or £518pp in October half-term with Real Holidays (020 7359 3938, www.realholidays.co.uk). Children under 13 sharing their parents’ room add £343/£308 each. Airlines flying to Rome, about 100 miles away, include British Airways (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com ), Ryanair (0871 246 0000, www.ryanair.com), EasyJet (www.easyjet.com) and Alitalia (0870 544 8259, www.alitalia.com).

IONIAN BEACH CLUB, Greece

For active, outdoorsy families there is no better place than a Mediterranean beach club: think Mark Warner, Club Med, Neilson or Sunsail. The problem is that prices rocket during the school holidays. At Mark Warner, a week in August for a family of four can cost more than £5,000.

There are more affordable alternatives. The Ionian Beach Club, in the northwest Peloponnese, has 80 air-conditioned bungalows set in 10 acres of gardens alongside a gorgeous sandy beach. It’s not as all-inclusive as its better-known rivals, but it does have an impressive sailing club, equipped with dinghies, catamarans and windsurfers. Twice-weekly sailing tuition is included, and there’s also tennis, table tennis, mini-golf, a swimming pool and a bar. The price: a week, half-board, costs £599pp for both adults and teenagers in August, or £499pp in October half-term, with Seafarer Cruises (0871 423 5548, www.seafarercruises.com).

LE MERIDIEN LIMASSOL, Cyprus

Not even the surliest, most ungrateful teenager could affect indifference to Le Meridien Limassol’s myriad charms. Even if they aren’t impressed by the 300yd stretch of beach or the beautiful grounds, they can’t deny the handiness of a games room, internet cafe and bowling alley open until 11pm.

That’s not all. The hotel has a dedicated teen centre, kitted out with a football pitch, basketball court, tennis courts, volleyball and table tennis. Oh, and there’s a disco three nights a week.

Parents like the place because it’s closed to nonresidents, which keeps out the riffraff. And while their children shoot hoops or text their mates, mum and dad can relax in the thalassotherapy centre or kick back beside the adults-only pool. The price: a week, B&B, based on a family of four sharing interconnecting rooms, costs £1,162pp (under18s £1,034) in August, or £1,178/£1,060pp in October half-term, with Prestige Holidays (01425 480400, www.prestigeholidays.co.uk).

LA MANGA, Spain

Nothing to do with Japanese comics, La Manga is the ne plus ultra of family sporting holiday destinations. It’s a place where you can bond with your teenagers over golf or tennis; or, if they’re really keen to hone their ball skills, they can sign up for an academy course.

La Manga runs five-day tutorials in football (for under16s), tennis, rugby and golf, with English-speaking coaches. The tennis is particularly tough, with five hours of intensive training a day for junior tournament players. The football academy is regularly used by top European clubs for winter training.

Other activities include mountain-biking, snorkelling, water-skiing and scuba-diving. There is plenty to do in the evenings: as well as discos and karaoke, there’s a Games Zone for over12s, with multiplayer Xbox, pinball, table tennis and table football, open until 1am. The price: a week, B&B, starts at £930pp in August, or £760pp in October half-term, with Elegant Resorts (01244 897515, www.elegantresorts.co.uk).

Explore Travel

• Travel News

• Where To Stay

• Your Say

• Business Travel

• Best of Britain

• Travel Images

• Good Spa Guide

Times recommends

• Win a Zeppelin flight over London
• A first timer's guide to... Morocco
• The budget guide to the French Riviera