Just back from my first visit to Tokyo, after exactly three days in that
astonishing city, and I am going to make the most thumping generalisation:
the Japanese are very English.
The politeness of the Japanese, their observance of ritual, their desire to
conform, the fascination with commerce and the way things work, the unstated
awareness of a glorious military past: all of this seems reminiscent of an
almost Victorian Englishness.
Some parts of Japanese culture - parliamentary democracy, for example - are
derived directly from Britain, but the cultural affinity, it seemed to me,
may spring from something deeper. Both Britain and Japan are small islands
on the edge of huge continents: we both admire and fear our vast neighbours,
but also feel a certain cultural superiority towards them. Occasionally, we
invade them.
I found Japanese courtesy oddly familiar, even reassuring. I loved all the
bowing. In fact, I am finding it hard to kick the habit. I don't suppose the
Japanese maître d' bowing ever lower in response to my bows is any more
sincere than the Englishman who insists on opening the door for women, but
both forms of behaviour are part of a set of courtly rules that, to an
Englishman, seem very English.
There is a chain store in Japan that labels its products according to
popularity, changing daily. Every item in the shop has a number on it from
one to five: thus you can buy the fifth most popular toothpaste, or the
second best-selling rice. The numbers change depending on national sales,
but once, say, a particular shoe polish hits the number one slot, it is
likely to stay there, because everyone wants to have the most popular
product, in a weird, self-reinforcing commercial cycle.
We behave like that: we buy "The Da Vinci Code" because it has been in the
bestseller lists for however many aeons, and not because it any good.
Having generalised about how we are similar, here is one of the odder ways in
which we are different. Japanese tend to have a wider gap between their
index and third fingers than Westerners. I discovered this while playing
Rock, Paper, Scissors with a charming young woman called Nao in a bunny girl
costume. (I can't explain now, but it was for research and, believe me,
there is nowhere in the world more chaste than a Japanese bunny bar at one
in the morning.)
When we Westerners make the Scissors or V-for-Victory sign, we achieve an
angle between the two fingers of about 20 degrees; the natural Japanese
angle is at least 45 degrees, and often more. My companion, who has lived in
Japan for years and has played a lot more Rock, Paper, Scissors than I have,
drew my attention to this physical anomaly, but could provide no rational
explanation.
He also offered another conundrum: the Japanese do not automatically know that
there are 52 weeks in a year. This applies, he said, to all Japanese, from
senior businessmen to bunny girls. They can work it out, of course, but they
do not divide the year up that way: by days and months, yes, but not by
weeks.
I tested this theory on Nao, who said that she thought there were “about 50”
weeks in the year. Then we went back to playing Rock, Paper, Scissors -
which has exactly the same rules in Japan, thus proving that the British and
Japanese are one nation separated by the angle between our fingers.
Spare me from instant experts. Three days in Tokyo and this joker's holding forth. After 25 years in Japan (and 35 years' contact), I discover/learn something new every day. Sorry Ben, but you simply don't know what you don't know.
Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan
It is an insult to say that the Japanese are similar to the English. Only an English person aspiring to be like the Japanese would say this. Some differences:
Japanese manners are ingrained and not superficial;
Japan is much cleaner than England;
Japanese spend a lot of time thinking and talking before acting and as a result things generally go smoother;
Japanese put in place contingency plans for when their contingency plans fail;
Japanese people are much cleaner than the English (did the writer tell his Japanese associates that he gets into a clean bath without showering?);
the food in Japan is incomparably superior to the food in England. This true at all levels, as Michelin recently discovered, and all places, the food at services stations, convenience stores and cafes in Japan is edible in England it simply is not;
Service in Japanese shops is service and sales assistants know about their products, there is no service in English shops.
I have run out of space!
Tom, Tokyo,
I have lived and worked in Japan for just over e year and Yako is right. However standards are changing in Japan - they are introducing ettiquette "police" on commuter trains here in an effort to stop the drift. However I believe it is more as a result of an attempt to copy the West, rather than a shift in the Japanese psyche - that will never change and there will always be differences, thankfully for the Japanese.
Al, Yokohama, Japan
What!? Portuguese!? Have you ever been to Sweden?
Rafael Marques, Fortaleza, Brazil
Yako, Japan is 20 years behind the UK (I know I have been going there for 12 years). Your country has these delights to come. Embrace the Chav culture, your country will have it's fair share in the near future.
Henry, Oxford, UK
We wish the English were like the Japanese!, for that I'm afraid this country will need to get rid of millions of chavs living on benefits, the nanny state, the binge drinking, the teen pregnancy and the hoodies with knifes that scare the hell of all of us living near those awful council flats.If only you knew your country better before making such a generalization, the Englishness you talk about is a thing of the past, sadly. The most polite people of Europe are the Portuguese, this from a foreigner who has travelled all over this old beautiful continent.
Yako, london,