Porthemmet is a palm-fringed Cornish beach where topless sunbathing is
encouraged and visitors are always made to feel welcome. But travellers
following directions to this semi-tropical paradise will find themselves
going nowhere.
Porthemmet was invented by a bored Cambridge graduate as a spoof. His website
has received more than 6,000 hits and has a huge following on Facebook, but
locals say it is a cruel joke that could harm the economy.
The name was the first giveaway as “emmet” is the Cornish word for ants and a
derogative term used by locals to describe the tourist hordes who descend on
the county each summer.
The website describes Porthemmet as Cornwall’s “largest beach” and claims it
is the only beach in Britain to allow topless sunbathing and “looks more
like a tropical paradise”.
The site suggests that visitors inform locals that they are an “emmet”, which
it states is someone who loves Cornwall. It also instructs them not to
listen to locals who claim not know where the beach is. The website claims:
“There is a private joke in Cornwall whereby locals will pretend not to know
where Porthemmet beach is. Don’t be fooled.”
Jonty Haywood, of Truro, Cornwall, said that he came up with the idea after
hearing of a similar prank in a Scandinavian city. “Most people think it’s
funny. Some discussions have got fairly heated regarding the general dislike
of tourists versus their input into the Cornish economy.”
Julia Cox, from VisitCornwall, the Cornwall tourism board, said: “We really
don’t want people thinking that Cornwall is hostile to tourists because that
is not the case. Tourism is the most important part of the local economy in
Cornwall.
“We can see that this website is meant as a joke, but we don’t want it to make
people feel unwelcome.”
But Malcolm Bell, chief executive of South West Tourism, said that the hoax
may not be bad for tourism. He said: “Any publicity is good publicity, It
does mean we’re talking about Cornwall and it may bring people down to
discover beaches that do exist.”
Brilliant!
Steve, Newquay,
I think it was rather a good joke as an "incomer" myself. By the way I understand the perpetrator of this joke is currently residing in Thailand - does that make him an emmett then?!!
Isolde Wray, Truro, Cornwall
Having been to Cornwall on numerous occasions and been
"Grockling" in many a shop !! I think it's a jolly jape in the best
English tradition!. True Cornish lovers would know damn well
there is no such place anyway and see straight through it and enjoy the joke!
In a world of doom and gloom, more of this humour!!
Annie,(Cornwall Luvver) , beddington, surrey
that is sooooo funny
Jonny, guernsey,
Brilliant, in the true traditions of satire going back to Swift. In any tourist area there is an ambivalence to tourism, welcoming the money and jobs while hating the mess and disruption they bring.
Barry Mellish, Bromley, UK
Too much hypocritical 'I'm alright Jack' i think!!
Anyway, Porthemmett couldn't be in Cornwall, -too clean & seemingly no moaning Cornish charging £3 for a traditional 'Pasty'!
PS- Thank goodness I'm escaping here soon!!
Colin, Newquay, Cornwall
Whilst I can appreciate the problem with rich incomers buying up a lot of the property for second homes etc and how this drives locals out financially; Cornwall is fortunate that people still want to holiday there, look at what has happened to other British holiday destinations since the early 80's! The Cornish people need to stop griping continually about incomers as without them Cornwall would have no economy. I'm from London and can appreciate that more money can be made there than in other regions of the country, people from London don't gripe that people from the North or Cornish people are taking their jobs - At the end of the day, it's a FREE Country . Cornwall has enjoyed an "Insular" attitude for too long - get with the 21st Century!
Smell The Coffee, Cumbria, UK
Celia, LMOA so everybody in Cornwall is slim with no obesity problems???
Why do the Cornish winge so much?? your not the only ones with high house prices, bad transport networks, lack of jobs.
Get over it and enjoy the fact you live in an area of outstanding beauty.
andy, Northampton, UK
I can't see the harm in this prank. Even if someone was miguided enough to go there to find a non-existent beach they'd be more than happy with the alternatives. It's all publicity and Cornwall hasn't had much going for it recently other than tourism when it comes to the local economy. Local government needs to find a way of getting tourist money back to the community as a whole.
Alfie Stalling, Somerset,
proper job!!!
len, barnsley,
It makes a change from all this doom and gloom around us. A bit of light relief. Well done.
roger , Stamford,
spent 2 weeks there, great place lovely sand, welcoming locals, cant fault it at all, will be going next year
jason, hastings,
Porth Emmet is not a hoax. I visited a few weeks ago and also visited Grockle Bay, which is just down the coast a bit.
Don't let those Janners fool you my lovlies
Jeff Mays
Gloucester
Jeff Mays, Gloucester,
Such a clever idea ! I hope they actually start a topless beach now...
:)
vandal, London,
Sadly Cornwall isn't the only place tha wnts the money but not th tourists. Wales and a certain large city in Yorkshre works on he same principle. Part with the folding stuff pal, then hoppit.
Roz
Roz Walters, Barnsley, South Yorkshire
What's wrong with Porthemmet? If my memory is correct I recall seeing on the TV some years back that it was just down the road from Tresodit.
Richard, Weymouth, UK
It's just a joke. Surely the fact that people are worried about the economy in Cornwall as a result of what is just a bit of fun says the people in those jobs have little to do. I'm from Newlyn in Cornwall and am currently living and working in Wales and have banter from colleagues and friends about being English & Cornish, but it's just a bit of a laugh at the end of the day. It's just a shame that people make such a big deal out of everything these days. It's pathetic when you stop and think about it.
Robert Moore, Tonypandy, Rhondda Cynon Taff
We hve just booked a package deal to Porthemmet staying at a B and B near the pastie mines.
We can put up with unfriendly hosts though as long as the skiing is as good as they have promised in the brochure.
Hugh, Vancouver, Canada
Celia: "While yes on an economic level, Cornwall does welcome tourists, it has got to be said that they are VERY annoying when they get here."
In other words, Cornwall welcomes tourists' money, but not tourists. For any other potential tourists now reluctant to irritate the Cornish, I suggest they try Brittany and Normandy.
Fairfax, Cambridge,
I think this has caused such outrage as all of us 'non-Cornish' are concious at some levels of being 'Grockles' and 'Emmets.' To the dedicated and considerate world traveller there is nothing as heart-rending as suspecting that the locals dispise and resent you for being in their village or town. Sometimes I suspect I understand when I see teh hordes descend on picturesque Mevagissey - This serves to ruin your holiday and foister the image that all locals are in factyokels. What this advert has served to calcifiy is the innate bigotry of the local. Life is a trade, you can either live in a place of natural beauty i.e. cornwall and earn less than in a big city or live in a place of unnatural uglyness i.e. London & earn a far superior wage but have no access to beauty. I would be intrigued to see the response to an advert from london inviting 'yokel locals' to come work in our cities. All in all this serves to highlight ignorance between two factions divided by simple geography.
Peter Nixon, Reading, Berkshire
Used to love Cornwall as a kid, regrettably can't afford it now. European resorts are half the price, have warm sunshine and don't make you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. Nice prank.
James, Rickmansworth, Herts
While yes on an economic level, Cornwall does welcome tourists, it has got to be said that they are VERY annoying when they get here. They have this wonderful tendency to treat the place like a giant theme park. They don't seem to realise that many of the villages and towns are places of work for real people, and just get upset when locals try to get on with their daily lives without obnoxious overweight "foreigners" getting in the way!!
If people can't take a joke, they shouldn't come to the county, afterall we have to grin and put up with their jokes about the Cornish!
Celia, truro,
While yes on an economic level, Cornwall does welcome tourists, it has got to be said that they are VERY annoying when they get here. They have this wonderful tendency to treat the place like a giant theme park. They don't seem to realise that many of the villages and towns are places of work for real people, and just get upset when locals try to get on with their daily lives without obnoxious overweight "foreigners" getting in the way!!
If people can't take a joke, they shouldn't come to the county, afterall we have to grin and put up with their jokes about the Cornish!
Celia, truro,
Hayle Towans plus palm trees could be Porth Emmet. Let's face it, who benefits from tourism in Cornwall. The non Cornish owners of tourism businesses, and the staff on the seasonal minimum wage. Local governement staff on the gravy train. The county has been abandoned by the local and national governments for years, no plan for business, commerce, infrastructure there that would facilitate career choices. Under 6 pounds and hour in summer, and the dole in winter, Cornish kids have to leave Cornwall to more affluent emmets, as no jobs pay enough to buy the extortionate (tourist inflated) house prices (20 times peoples salaries). Cornwall is becoming a retirement village/empty 2nd home. Can you forgive the Cornish youth for poking back about that. I work in London hoping to save up enough money to make my return. in old age. Fortunately, I know the best beaches in Cornwall. And I keep those for myself!
Tim Dyer, Truro, Cornwall
Shows the mentality of the youth today and this guy is supposed to be educated. That is the biggest joke.
izzy, wirral, england