Terminal 5 opened its giant glass doors to the press last week, marking the
start of the one-year countdown to its opening on March 27, 2008. And it
won’t be a minute too soon. Heathrow’s existing four terminals have a
supposed capacity of 45m — it’s currently handling 68m. Which explains why
it’s so horrible.
You might ask why BAA (profit last year £620m) allowed a 50% overcapacity...
it wouldn’t, after all, be acceptable for a hotel to squeeze threesomes into
double rooms. Not unless it were kinky. But BAA has been doing a lot of
squeezing at Heathrow and it isn’t remotely kinky, it’s miserable. There are
the inadequate facilities, the endless queues, the cheese-grater seating,
the dingy, depressing maze of corridors, a luggage system close to and
frequently exceeding breaking point, interminable coach transfers from gate
to plane and... well, I could go on.
Can T5 change all that? Having seen the latest plans and progress, I’d say the
answer is yes (probably). Yes, because it really is quite impressive;
(probably) because it’s still a year away and the amount of improvement
required to make Heathrow an even remotely pleasurable experience is epic.
There is no question that British Airways, the sole carrier using the new
terminal, and BAA have had a bit of a rethink about how airports work. The
Richard Rogers-designed terminal might be big — it’s the largest single-span
structure in the UK. And it might be very glassy. Very airy. Very calming.
But none of that’s any good if you find yourself walking miles, queuing for
ever and staring up forlornly at confusing screens in an attempt to work out
what zone you’re supposed to be in.
T5 is different. Someone obviously kicked off the T5 planning meeting with a
“Look guys, let’s think outside the box” kind of opener. They’re employing
the Lean Methodology. When I asked what on earth that was, I was told it was
the use of simple single repeatable processes. When I asked what that meant,
they explained it meant I wouldn’t be standing around looking forlorn any
more.
‘QUEUE-FREE’
That’s what they’re promising, anyway. If you haven’t already checked in
online, you’ll walk into the terminal and check in at any of the 96
self-service kiosks. You then move forward to the bag drop. Any bag drop,
because all bag drops can deliver bags to all planes. And your bags drop
through a hole rather than onto a clogging conveyor belt, leaving you to
continue moving forward to security. You don’t have to double back into the
queue of people waiting behind you. And if an old biddy wants to know what
in-flight movies are on, she can go to one of the check-in assistance areas,
rather than clogging up the Lean thing. Clogging is bad in T5 land.
Once through, you move forward to the shops, restaurants, gates and, just
beyond them, the planes. That sounds like an ordinary airport, but the gates
are part of the main area, not 58 broken travelators and a couple of
one-way-only security checkpoints away. And BA is going to call you by much
smaller groups of seat rows, so you can waltz from duty-free onto the plane
directly, rather than rush to the gate in an “I’m going to miss it, my
life’s over” panic, only to find a 300-strong queue of other blighters
waiting, bored, to board.
Personally, I shall be booking the corner table at Gordon Ramsay’s first
airport restaurant, watching till the last person has gone to my gate,
finishing my ravioli of lobster, then strolling over to board.
WHAT ABOUT THE LUGGAGE? Heathrow has a good reputation for losing it.
Last summer, 7,000 passengers were separated from their bags in just one
weekend, which must be some sort of record. At T5, they claim the bags will
travel faster than the passengers and new computer systems will make it much
harder for bags to vanish. If luggage is cutting it fine to make a flight,
they have belts that can race it through the airport at 31mph. Should your
bag arrive more than three hours before a flight, it has a very futuristic,
almost HG Wellsian fate. Down in the bowels of T5, known ominously as
Basement 3, is a 4,000-space early-bag store controlled by 36 robot arms.
Your bag will be deposited in a cage down there, then plucked out when it’s
time to fly.
In the baggage-collection hall, the screen won’t read an infuriating “BA654
Rome: please wait for an unspecified amount of time for the carousel to
start”. It will be more specific — “Your bag’s still on the plane, now it’s
on the little beeping trolley cart, it’s nearly here, nearly, just round the
corner, ta-da!” And when the last bag comes out, it will say “That’s the
last bag”, so you’ll know immediately that you’re a loser, rather than
waiting for ages like a chump until you finally accept you’re a loser. And
even if you are a loser, there will be staff with computers on trolleys
wheeling around to help anyone who’s fallen foul of the system.
Outside, on the apron, it’s a lot more efficient too. Terminal 4 is a
cul-de-sac — it’s a one-in, T5 should make Heathrow more fun, even if you
can’t stretch to the Concorde Lounge, left one-out system and the
planes often have to cross a live runway to get to their takeoff position.
That’s why you spend so long staring out of the window, wondering when
exactly air travel became so tedious. T5 is between the two runways and
planes move in and out in a circular motion. This, says BA, will make the
whole taxiing palaver far less arduous.
THE FANCY STUFF
The shops and restaurants sound flashy — Tiffany, Paul Smith, Gordon Ramsay,
Amato, the Soho patisserie and plenty of others to part you from your
holiday money before you’ve even flown. The cheese-grater seats are out...
there will be comfortable cushioned seating all over the place. And a BAA
spokesperson has personally assured The Sunday Times that the toilets will
be plentiful and lovely, rather than unplentiful and unlovely as they are in
the rest of the airport — and we’ll be watching to make sure she wasn’t
lying.
British Airways is completely redesigning its executive lounges in time for
the big move, gleefully widening the already cavernous gap between the lucky
“them” and the unlucky rest of “us”. I can exclusively reveal that they’ll
be called Galleries rather than Terraces and will, if the conceptual
photography is anything to go by, give Virgin’s flagship Heathrow Clubhouse
a run for its designer money.
Instead of a few umbrellas, shrink-wrapped cucumber sandwiches and a selection
of business magazines, there will be a cinema, an open kitchen, a spa
dishing out shiatsu massage and a proper kids’ zone for those horrible
little brats accustomed to flying Club. I’m told that everything is
“kinetic”, which means, with the help of high-tech screens, smells and
sounds, they can turn day to night, morning to afternoon, smoothie to
cocktail at the flick of a few switches. Imagine how they could contribute
to jet lag if they wanted to.
If you’re rich or mad enough to fly first class, the 500-seat Concorde Lounge
is resplendent with fireplaces, separate ensuite bedrooms, private dining
facilities, infinity baths and a Gold Bar. But try to put all that Osborne &
Little-wallpapered excess from your mind the next time you’re booking World
Traveller.
Let’s end with some good news for all of us. When BA moves its entire
operation to T5, it doesn’t just mean BA can offer a less chaotic start to a
holiday. With 30m people a year taken out of the other four terminals, they
should become more manageable too. The whole horrible place is being
reorganised and, with runways already operating at 98% capacity, they can’t
just fill it with yet another 50% too many customers... can they?
It will take more than yet another aeronautical 'Taj Mahal' to persuade me, or my employees, to fly either British Airways or, indeed, to ever grace the crowded terminals of Heathrow.
BA has treated its staff with contempt in its labour practices, not forgetting their pension fund shortfall, who in turn have subjected their passengers with equal contempt and arrogance.
Following various terrorism legislation the BA cabin crew try a new tactic - 'Sir, disobeying cabin crew can result in a prison sentence'.
Many still remember BA anti-competitive strategies against the late Sir Freddy Laker - who won a judgement against BA - and Virgin, with BA doing all they could, legally and otherwise, to beat the competition. Does Lord Kings ring a bell?
Heathrow Airport represents an archaic transport model; far better that the 'London' airports be linked by high-speed rail as one experiences in ShangHai so that Heathrow can be closed with Gatwick, etc., shouldering the load.
Jay Houston, Buon Ma Thuot, DakLak, VietNam
I still cannot wrap my mind around that Heathrow is BA's hub, yet more often than not, BA planes are not given priority for gates. Being shuttled to and from the plane to terminal and walking up (or down) the stairwell is fine, if you're a lone traveler, but when you have kids and the requisite carryons for infants and such, it becomes a chore to fly. Hopefully T5 will allow BA priority for gates.
Steve, Windsor, Ontario, Canada