MISSION To discover if an Ayurvedic hot stone massage and mud wrap could make me less grumpy at the end of a disappointing holiday.

USP The spa at the Westin Turnberry Resort on the coast of Ayrshire offers Espa treatments in a first-class hotel, with two of Britain’s finest golf courses only yards away. The spa has a big gym, 12 treatment rooms, relaxation rooms and a 20m swimming pool, which has jaw-dropping views over the Irish Sea towards Ailsa Craig, an island that looks like an enormous muffin.

AMBIENCE It has a soothing atmosphere: dim lights in the treatment rooms, brilliant sunlight reflecting off the sea in the pool and gym. I was tended to by Nicola, a nice, competent young therapist. She made me feel wonderful, although she did occasionally indulge in a little Ayurvedic mumbo-jumbo. She told me she would tailor the treatment to suit whichever of my “doshas was rising”. In my case it was “pitta”, so Nicola decided to use Brahmi oil (a lovely blend of citrus, rosemary and peppermint) as this would “shut off my third eye”.

EXPERIENCE After an enjoyable whinge about my stressful life (“the consultation”), the treatment began with a clash of tiny bells and a wash, scrub and massage of my feet. The foot ritual was followed by exfoliation of my skin with a stiff brush; then the hot stones massage. I was lulled into dreamy semi-consciousness while Nicola rubbed the hot stones over my oily back. They felt like a tide of red liquid heat rushing over my skin. Then a piping shower before the mud treatment. Each limb was painted with warm green marine mud and then wrapped in natural linen. I felt rather like the antihero of The Mummy, but a lot less irritable than an abruptly woken centuries-dead Egyptian king. In fact, I didn’t feel grumpy at all but quite wonderful. A triumph for Turnberry.

FOOD The spa has its own restaurant, Stagioni, which serves pasta, light dishes and sandwiches. In the hotel’s main restaurant, my wife and I had a suberb tasting menu (£40 each); course after course of exquisite morsels, such as foie gras mousse, Scottish quail in a Chinese dim sum package.

IN-CROWD Golf’s the thing at Turnberry and so the in-crowd is mostly wealthy middle-aged businessmen and their wives.

WALLET WATCH Not too bad. My wife had a 25-minute head massage (“invigorating yet soothing”) for £34. A facial (one hour and 20 minutes) is £90 or £65 for 50 minutes. My Ayurvedic extravaganza was £125.

NEED TO KNOW The spa at Westin Turnberry Resort, Ayrshire, Scotland. For more spa details, call 01655 331000 or visit www.westin.com/turnberry

For more than 225 independent spa reviews log on to timesonline.co.uk/goodspaguide

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