I’m sure you’ve heard the horror stories about Greyhound buses – that they’re
full of weirdos, junkies, runaways and perverts. Or worse – a bloke with a
guitar who’s written 19 songs just for you.
I first rode “the hound” many years ago after working in a summer camp in
Tennessee. It was a long, cramped, uncomfortable journey to New York,
memorable only for the stench that emanated from the on-board toilet and my
constant peering out of the window every time we stopped, terrified that
someone would liberate my rucksack from the hold.
Greyhound’s image hasn’t changed much over the years – until now. In a bid to
add a little snazz to its operation, Greyhound is biting back, unleashing
its secret weapon – a new luxury service called the BoltBus that operates
between New York and Washington, Boston and Philadelphia.
So, what’s so special about this BoltBus, you may ask. Well, apart from a
paint job that makes it look like Ziggy Stardust’s tour bus, its two big
draws are extra legroom and free on-board WiFi.
Prices are also slashed to enable its slogan of “Bolt for a Buck” (which
explains the terrible name), with at least one seat available on each bus
for the princely sum of $1. You’ll have to bag it well in advance, though,
as fares increase as the bus fills up.
Book a week before you want to travel, on www.boltbus.com,
and prices from New York to Washington come in at $15, which is still $10
less than Vamoose (www.vamoosebus.com),
which also operates a NY-DC service, and $5 cheaper than other bus lines,
such as New Century Travel (www.2000coach.com)
and Washington Deluxe (www.washny.com).
The NY-DC fare on Greyhound (www.greyhound.com)
is $39.
There’s always the train, of course, which is quicker (from 3 hours 12
minutes, compared with about four hours on BoltBus), but Amtrak will set you
back $69. And there’s no WiFi.
ALL THINGS considered, what’s not to like? For your American fix, you can now
get two sexy cities for pretty much the price of one – twice the
restaurants, twice the shops, twice the culture; all that and free porn,
sorry, e-mails, too. Let’s just hope you’re not sitting next to a nutter. Or
a singer.
So off I go to DC, my old Greyhound prejudices packed neatly alongside a
toothbrush in my overnight bag. My designated pickup spot in Manhattan
(there are two) is on 33rd and 7th, outside a Sharro’s Italian deli.
Disappointingly, an initial scan for weirdos, junkies, runaways and perverts
among those shivering in line at the bus stop proves inconclusive, but if I
know anything about Greyhound’s clientele it’s that the fun ones don’t like
to reveal themselves too early.
BoltBus operates an “ABC” boarding policy, splitting the passengers into
groups, much like EasyJet does. This, though, is roundly ignored, and the
usual bus bundle is won by a sprightly little Chinese lady who is at least
101, who throws her e-mail confirmation, marked with a big “C”, at the
driver and hurdles the opposition to get on board.
“Hey, Cs are supposed to wait,” yells a guy waving his “B” paper, but his
heart’s not in it.
In the end, the bus is only half full, so I’m able to stretch out and start
surfing. A quick glance around proves that WiFi is a big draw – practically
everyone is online.
Everyone, that is, apart from the driver. That would be silly – he’s far too
busy with his new toy. For the past half-hour, he has been talking on what
looks like a walkie-talkie, switching from holding it to his mouth to his
ear. And, judging from the loud, growling sounds coming out of it, he’s
talking to Animal from the Muppets. They clearly haven’t spoken for a while,
as the conversation stretches on. And I know the roads are straight out here
and one hand will probably do, but still ...
The greens and the greys of motorway travel, identical in practically every
western country, flit past my window. After a while, I venture back to check
out the facilities. It’s also an excuse to have a good nose at the other
passengers. Nobody is sharpening a knife on a boot heel, cutting heads from
photographs or snipping hair from a sleeping stranger. They’re all writing
e-mails.
The toilet is practically on top of the bloke on the back row, who, as there
are spare seats available, seems to have actively chosen to sit there. I try
not to think about what that might mean as I step inside the cubicle and
shut the door. It’s pitch black. I pat the walls, searching for the switch.
Nothing. This’ll be fun. I give myself a 15% chance of hitting the bowl in
the dark, the way Animal and his mate are driving. Suddenly, the door swings
open and, as I turn to shut it again, I see a sign saying “Lock for light”.
I do, and am illuminated. My odds rise instantly to 90%. Aaaah, that’s
better. The bus lurches and I pee on my shoes.
There’s no sink, but there is a dispenser of waterless detergent, the kind you
get in hospitals, which feels strangely tingly on my hands. As that’s the
only nod to hygiene, though, and it’s not bolted down, it might be an idea
to pack some wet-wipes. Just in case. As I settle back into my seat, we
plough on south, down Interstate 95, and signs for Delaware and New Jersey
slip past.
We’re set down in Washington at Grand Central station, which is just two stops
on the metro from the Smithsonian and the National Mall. The Lincoln
Memorial and Capitol Hill are suitably grandiose, so with that lot ticked
off, it’s time to hit the boutiques and bars of Georgetown. Washington is a
blast, a different pace entirely from New York, but just as intriguing,
especially on a lightning-quick stay.
The next morning, the bus is waiting for me. It’s about half full with the
same sort of people as yesterday – perfectly pleasant and normal, all with
laptop bags rather than guitar cases. On the evidence of a quick straw poll
of those sitting near me, BoltBus has gained a following.
The driver gets behind the wheel, looking as if he’s fresh out of college.
“Thank you for choosing BoltBus,” he says over the tannoy. “Just reelaax,
sit back and enjoy the riiiide.”
Paul Croughton was a guest of the Westin Grand hotel, in Washington (00800
325 95959, www.westin.com;
doubles from £75), and Virgin Atlantic (0870 380 2007, www.virgin-atlantic.com),
which flies from Heathrow to both JFK and Newark in New York, as well as
Boston and Washington, with fares starting at about £300. Other airlines
flying to the northeastern USA include British Airways (0844 493 0787, www.ba.com),
American Airlines (020 7365 0777, www.americanairlines.co.uk)
and Aer Lingus (0870 876 5000, www.aerlingus.com)
With gas prices what they are and air travel what it is I think Greyhound has a great opportunity to increase market share and raise prices and quality all at the same time.
David, Grand Coteau, Louisiana
In my youth, I rode "The Hound" quite a lot. I bought the $99 for 99 days ticket when I was 15 & traveled from So CAL to NYC with as many stops along the way as I wanted & never had a problem. I met interesting people who also were on an adventure. I rode recently to Vegas & all was still cool.
Steve, Lancaster, USA
Last time I rode Greyhound, which was about 18 years ago, smoking was allowed on the bus. There were several chainsmokers , including a young couple with a baby. It was awful. If people still smoke on these buses, that would be a dealbreaker for me. It wasn't mentioned in the article. Anybody know?
Doug, Orlando, USA
I think the bus will always be what it is - the least expensive and least pleasant way to get from A to B. It has its niche and there's nothing wrong with that as long as it's self supporting. Rail requires taxation, (theft), to survive. Time to snip that cord and let it live or die on its own.
Bryan, Stuart, FL, U.S.A.
Uh, Grand Central Station (officially, it's Grand Central Terminal) is in New York, not Washington. I think you meant Union Station.
Seamus, Washington, USA
The main reason I won't use the bus is because I don' like sharing a seat. It's lmost impossible to avoid rubbing against someone.make thye seats separate; then I'll consider it. Lot's of buss travellers are fine people.
Tony, Tacoma Park, USA
I used Greyhound 8 years ago and of all the trips I did from Indianapolis to New Orleans up to New York via Washington DC they had the best buses and people on the DC-NYC leg. Travelling the south and mid-west was the worst section and they constantly lost my bag. Although we did always get reunited
Emma, London,
Back in the distant past, 1973, I traveled around the States on Greyhound with my husband.
Back then, an open ticket for a month cost $99. We covered 11000 miles in a month, slept on the bus, sightseeing by day.
Apart from the NY busterminal, it wasn't populated by unsavoury characters!
Frie, Echternach, Luxembourg
It's SBARRO's, not Sharro's. . . .
Tama-chan, Tokyo, Japan
I used several times the Greyhound bus when i studied in NYC. As i was a student the ticket price was affordable and i never had any problems. It saved me money as rail and air travel are more expensive. My usual routes were from NYC to DC and Boston. The drivers were always really helpful!
Niko, London, England
Grand Central Station is the subway, Grand Central Terminal is the railroad station.
Commodore Vanderbilt, NYC,
Friends in England alerted me to this very entertaining article . Just one quibble. Grand Central Station is in NYC; Washington's is "Union Station".
Susan Absher, Washington, DC, USA