Jeremy Clarkson
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From
June 22, 2008
Mercedes-Benz SL 350
Mr Weedy comes up with the goods
It’s no good. I can’t sit here any more pretending that there’s nothing wrong. Because there is. A man came to my house yesterday to fix the computer and he had a worried look on his face. He lives 20 miles away. The fuel tank in his little van was perilously close to empty and he simply didn’t have enough money to fill it up again.
In the past I only ever stopped for fuel when the yellow light had been on for a month and the engine was starting to cough. Yesterday I stopped at a garage simply because its petrol was 4p cheaper than usual. That’s a £2.80 difference per tankful. Which works out at £300 a year. That’s 55 free packets of cigarettes.
Except of course these calculations are meaningless because oil, as I write, is $139 a barrel and no one thinks it’s going to stop there. Not with Mr Patel on the economic warpath and Johnny Chinaman part-exchanging his rickshaw for a shiny new Toyota. They say it’ll be $150 a barrel by the end of summer.
Global warming was never going to get people out of their big cars because we could see it was all a load of left-wing tosh. But when petrol is £3 a litre – and anyone old enough to remember 1973 would not discount that as a possibility – you’d have to be a bit bonkers to drive around like your hair’s on fire in a car that does only eight miles to the gallon.
Oh it’s all very well now. You may be a footballer or a Sir Alan. You may see expensive petrol as a jolly good way of getting the poor and the weak off the roads. Soon, though, you will be hit too.
Think about it. When you have to have a fist fight with an old lady over the last loaf of bread in the shop, and your electricity bill looks as though it’s been written in liras, you are going to find yourself in the same boat as my computer man: with a nice car on the drive and no wherewithal to make it go.
Of course there are lots of things you can do to lessen the impact of spiralling fuel bills – all of which are dreary.
Weight is one issue. If you remove that rolled-up old carpet from your boot, you’ll be surprised at the impact it’ll have on your bills. You could go further and remove your spare wheel and jack too. Maybe you could even go on that diet you’ve been promising yourself.
Then there’s all the equipment. If you use a lot of electrical stuff while driving, the alternator will need to work harder, which means more fuel. Even Terry Wogan needs a bit of petrol. Your heated rear window needs an alarming amount. And air-conditioning? Turn that off and your fuel consumption will improve by as much as 12%.
Making sure that your tyres are inflated properly will save another 5%, and you know the roof bars? If you can manage without, there’s another 3% saving right there. At this rate you are well on your way to turning your Range Rover Sport Nutter Bastard into something with the thirst of a newborn wren.
By far the biggest savings will come if you change the way you drive, though. Take the Audi A8 diesel as an example. Officially it will do 30.1mpg. Realistically it’ll be nearer 25. With a bit of care, however, you can do 40. Maybe more.
Audi says that its big V8 oil-burner can go 580 miles between trips to the pumps but I managed to get all the way from London to Edinburgh and then back again on a single tankful. That’s a whopping 800 miles. It wasn’t much fun, at a fairly constant 56mph, with no radio, no air-con and no sat nav. But the savings were massive.
Things I learnt? On a downhill stretch, ease up on the throttle pedal and work with gravity to build up speed. Similarly you can ease off the power and use momentum to get you up the next hill. A cruise control system will not do this. It is a sledgehammer when what you need is the scalpel sensitivity of your right foot.
Look far ahead. If you think you will have to slow down, start the process early. If you use the brakes you are simply wasting the fuel you used to reach a speed that was unnecessary.
Already I’m bored with this. The notion that you have to drive at 56mph, with sweaty armpits, stopping every five seconds to check your tyre pressures, just to save a pound fills me with horror and dread. It would be like being told to lose weight by your doctor – and sawing your arm off. Effective but annoying. Which is why, when it comes to the price of fuel, I want to have my cake and eat it too. And then I want second helpings.
This brings me to the Mercedes-Benz SL 350. Ordinarily I’d dismiss this, the baby of the range, and suggest you bought the mountainous twin-turbo 6 litre V12 version instead. But in these dark and difficult times, I thought I’d give the weedomatic version a chance.
The fact of the matter is this. Officially the V12 version will return 18.7mpg whereas the 350 will do 28.5. That is a colossal difference. And handy too. On my old SL 55, a quarter of a tank would not get me from London to my house in the Cotswolds. A quarter of a tank in the 350 gets me there and back.
But while the fuel savings are obvious, I wanted to know if the price was too high. Would the SL 350’s performance be just a bit too wet?
The figures don’t look brilliant. The brand new 3.5 litre V6 engine develops 311bhp, which, officially, is “not enough”, and 266lb ft of torque, which is about what you get in a nine-year-old’s forearm. Couple that with the SL’s thunder-thighed weight and you might imagine you’d be going everywhere at 4mph.
In fact it will get from 0 to 60 in six seconds or so. That’s fast. And the top speed is 155. Exactly the same as it is in the SL 65.
One area in which you might imagine the 350 would be left lacking is when you’re on the outside lane of a motorway. You’re in a long line of cars doing, say, 50, but despite this a mouth-breather in a Renault Clio is crawling all over your rear end. Then the road clears . . .
We’ve all been there. You mash your throttle into the carpet to show that his aggression was pointless. Big-engined SLs are very good at this, humiliating the young and the stupid. And guess what. The 350’s not bad either. You don’t get the Gatling gun soundtrack but the pace is there all right. And this is an engine that likes to spin too. Up at the top of the rev range, it sings, whereas the bigger V8s and V12s lumber.
Then things get better. Whereas more expensive SLs come with computerised suspension, the 350 has conventional springs and dampers. It is much, much, much, much, much better as a result. It doesn’t crash through potholes and the steering is more accurate too. You would never call a 16-ton, two-horsepower car “sporty”, but it gets perilously close, this one.
If you are somehow immune to the SL’s flashy new Wagtastic nose, you’ll find that most of the time the 350 is very nearly as good as the version you were dreaming about. And that some of the time it’s quite a bit better.
You can, if you want, order the car with no 350 badge on the back. I recommend, however, you leave it in place. Last year it advertised to the world that you were a bit Gola League. Today it tells everyone you’re actually pretty smart.
Vital statistics
Model Mercedes-Benz SL 350
Engine 3498cc, six cylinders
Power 311bhp @ 6500rpm
Torque 266 lb ft @ 4900rpm
Transmission Seven-speed automatic
Fuel CO2 28.5mph (combined) 236g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 6.2sec
Top speed 155mph
Price £65,080
Road tax band G (£400 a year)
On sale Now
Rating 
Verdict Proof that less is more
If the world oil supply does run out then thats Germmy out of a job.... So perhaps thats not such a bad thing!!!
Julian, Halewood ops, uk
Theres no SL350 in North America....Ill Stick with my 5.5 Kompressor
Ramin, Newport Beach, USA
Don't worry Mr C , if your computer man runs out of fuel I will be more than happy to fix your pc for you. I will even give you a discount, see not everything is getting more expensive :-)
Chris, Sussex, UK
Wake up oil companies. Itemise the fuel cost and the tax separately and start to organise an anti government protest to highlight how little of the price increase is the fuel hike and how much greater the associated automatic tax hike is.
D Cage, Highworth, Wilts UK
the price per gallon in california is around $4.50, ( 2BP) equivalent to $170 oil. Britain's price $350 oil equivalent. Obviously the Brits can afford $350 0il!
That the crux of the question who gets the Tax revenue Oil producing countries like Russia and Opec or Developed countries.Place your bet
John Anthony, Bowen island, Canada
Why are people in the UK putting up with a 70%+ fuel tax?? Locally here in California we're paying on average of $4.65 a gallon (highest prices in the U.S.). Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the cost of fuel double that in the UK, just on tax? This worldwide crisis is made by pols, nothing else.
Jack, Los Angeles, USA
Whats the point of looking at top speeds and 0-60 times, when all you can do with them is break the law, gulp petrol or do what most balding, fat middle aged men do; wear ill advised sun glasses and rev up their motors outside pubs, clubs and other public areas hoping to be admired !!!!!
jonners, weybridge,
Yes its nice to have a fuel efficient car, and its nice to have all those electronic things to drive it for you. But any savings you make on fuel in these modern marvels is more than eaten up in servicing costs. I'd kill for an old Morris Minor.
Udo, Melbourne, Australia
There is over 100 years of oil available - yes it may cost a bit more to get at some of it - as there will be lots of people now, other than the Arabs of Arabia getting rich on the back of, like its in other regions geographically - but there is loads of it and they are discovering more all the time
Martyn, Farnham, England
Driving 40 ton trucks of groceries around the country for a supermarket even the best of us ( I have been at it almost 30 years) can just about get 8 to 9 M.P.G. out of these relativly new vehicles! When a recent company notice board asked how drivers going to save costs? We offered to stay at home
Dave Farmer, Broxbourne, England
No change here, then."Clarkson's Cars for Toffs".
Alan Henderson, Whitley Bay, Engalnd
I don't understand why people complains about taxes. What do they think pays for the roads they drive on? In many developed countries - the USA being the major exception - health care is paid for by taxes. It goes on & on! If you want to live in a modern country, shut up and pay your share!
HJP
HJP, Ontario, Canada
I drive an FPV Force 6. I haven't got a clue what the fuel consumption is and could care less, it is great fun to drive, cops permitting. Driving is meant to be fun, not an exercise in sanctimony. People who hate cars should leave the roads to those of us who know what driving is all about.
Paul Buddery, Queensland, Australia
Ha.thats nothing. In my Skoda Fabia Station 1.4 petrol [2006] I regularly get 85 mpg Never below 65 1.switch of engine regulary at long stop lights.
2. Drive down hill in Neutral. The car speeds up [Im often at 120kmh]..and breaking is far better than when in gear. So its illegal? So is $140 oil
Patrick O Sullivan, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe.
Petrol costs 10 cents a gallon to make. Where is the rest of the money going?
alan calverd, bishops stortford, herts, u
The price of a barrel of oil has little to do with the price of fuel at the pump being so extortionate. It might however, have something to do with the fact that the tax on it is worth over twice the cost of the basic fuel. This is simply the government fleecing motorists once more.
James Whitehouse, Ventnor, UK
Bill Blackwater - grow up and stop being so fashionably sensitive - its clearly a writing style which everyone includng Mr Patel (who probably drives a 350sl and laughed at your pathetic squeels) finds humorous and inoffensive- and at the same time take "black" our of your surname - its racist
Adrian , London,
I would hardly say his comments are racist! Stop being offended on other peoples behalf!
Brilliant article as usual. The only man with any common sense left.
I just dont get what happens to OUR oil from the north sea! Me thinks the oil companies are ripping us off!
Andrew, wakefield,
It does sound like a great car, but £65,080? You could get a two year old BMW M5 for just over half of that! Why are Mercs' so overpriced?
Christopher Jordan, Belfast, Northern Ireland
jeremy clarkson is a bit biased on the subject of big cars don't you think?
jadeneq, hudds, england
Would you say the same logic applied to a BMW 2.0i SE Roadster?
Andrew Waldron, Bournemouth, UK
Um...... 311bhp, 6.2 sec from 0-60.....not bad........until you see the VW Passat R36: Just less than 300 bhp but 0-60 in 5.6 sec!!!
OK less of a "pose" but more "surprise" to that Clio behind.
M.W. London.
M T C Wong, london, UK
Describing global warming as "left-wing tosh" is standard thoughtless populism. But describing the entire population of India as "Mr Patel" and the entire population of China as "Johnny Chinaman" is sailing just a little too close to outright racism. Shame on The Times.
Bill Blackwater, London,
To Gus of California
We aren't sure how everything in the USA is half the price of the rest of the world, perhaps the rest of the world is subsidising the US for the security provided by Uncle Sam? We humble folk of Sydney pay around US 1.80 per litre (please note correct spelling) for 98RON gas
Tony, Sydney, Australia
311 bhp not enough? With all due respect, Mr Clarkson - and that's a lot - don't you think you're being a little spoilt?
the SL350 has 170.4bhp/tonne - that's pretty much the same as the BMW 330i (254bhp)'s 171.6bhp/tonne and no-one would accuse the 330i of not having enough power, would they?
Marco, Kraków, Poland
If I had a nice car rather than the old suzuki vivo that I drive now maybe I wouldnt think like this, but the fact that in the last year the cost of filling it up has increased by about a third has made me see the benefits of my push bike!
Appreciated the comments about increasing efficiency.
Amy, Joetsu, Japan
BP's own figs released last week show a conservative 40 years of oil left at todays' level of consumption, which will surely increase, unlike the oil reserves. The saudis have a plan to build a 'hydrogen city'. Why would they be planning that do you think ? Do they know something we don't ?
gareth, arveyes, switzerland
Fuel price in UK is 12 $US / Gallon (125p / liter)
that's a massive 70% tax surcharge for every gallon of gas.
Is that how they finance the UK 'free' health care system ?
Nicholas, California, USA
I'm still not sure I understand why everything there is almost exactly twice as expensive as here. Cars, fuel, insurance, etc. etc.
Gus, Newport Beach, California, USA
From the picture driving that red Merc has made you so much better looking than you used to be, Jeremy.
David Martin, Bristol,
100 fils a litre here in bahrain! bring on the V12's! :)
Nick, grantham,
Hell.....I loved this article.
Ted Strickland, Baton Rouge, USA
Petrol is 12 cents a gallon in Venezuela.
Simon Lovett, London,
Here he goes again. He may think he's funny but making racist remarks doesn't do anything for me. I've always thought him a pratt but this is going too far.
Han Sin-Kwang, Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
I can't see people who have £65K to spend on a car worrying about petrol prices. If people were that worried, surely they would realise the cost of their airhead vanities and buy a car for £15K. Savings? £50K plus far superior petrol consumption.
We live in strange times, as this article shows.
Simon Ralli Robinson, Gibraltar, Gibraltar
I would like to buy a new 350SL, the only thing that prevents me from doint this, is that my 1998 320SL with 175,000 past miles on the same shocks and same exhaust cause me to think otherwise, as I want to spend a few bob on the old girl before we part. Na, I love my 320 more than er' in doors!
Gino Francesco, Hastings, England
The new 350 engine only achieves the extra hp (compared to the 'old' one) right at the top of the rev range and who (these days) wants to thrash an engine right up to the red line ? My 2006 SL has always been sporty enough for me and I thank my lucky stars I didn't go for the 500.
Jimmy Johnson, London,
Silly man does not point out that in the UK a huge portion of the cost of petrol is government tax. Answer is simple. Go nuclear and electricity will be plentiful and use battery power for getting around cities. Petrol for longer journeys.
ellenO, toronto, canada
I wonder if it suffers from the same body roll as my 2003 CLK320. I see MB finally made sense enough to move the Nav System from in front of the gear lever. Many times I thought I was going to end up going off the road switching the radio to cd or nav.
Chase, Ocean City, MD, USA
@Kim
Oil is not going to run out in 10 years, we have proven reserves for decades and if oil stays at current levels then many a hard to reach or inhospitable field becomes viable meaning we are no where near so called peak oil.
Laurence, Southampton, UK
Before you complain about the 100-year-old engine technology, what about the wheels!? It's about time the capitalist machine stopped pulling the wool over our eyes with such thousands-of-years old technology!
dave, Tokyo,
oh dear, next Clarkson will be telling me how many grocery bags I can fit in the boot...
Stephen Fowler, Toronto, Canada
Oil is going to run out in the next 10 years. Face the fact. It doesn't matter if petrol is £6 a gallon, or £12 a gallon or whatever - it's going to run out sooner or much sooner. At least we have 10 years in which to build an infrastructure to deal with an oil-less UK.
kim, Hong Kong/London, UK/China
I can't wait to see reviews of vehicles not powered by 100 year old "technology". I use that word loosely; hence the exclamation marks.
Now that I feel would be "pretty smart"...
charles, Cirencester, Great Britain
Is it just me or is anyone else TOTALLY upset with this Government. Cars are something I love the car tax for bigger models would effect my decision on which model/engine to buy. By backdating the tax it'll cost me an extra £500 pea on our 2 cars and its halved their value
LABOUR OUT - CLARKSON IN
Bruce Harper, Stafford,