In response to Marvin Miller's comment above, I have worked in Bradford since 1985, and I can assure everyone that here we now have several generations of Bradfordians born to families of Pakistani and Indian descent, and you will rarely find a Yorkshire accent amongst them.

Jayne Lloyd, Leeds, England

isnt it funny that the people from birmingham take offence at this? when i can garantee they will take the mick out of other peoples accents. and yes jeremy a brummie accent does make you sound think and no that does not mean brummies actually are!

stephen , belper,

You probably don't even realise how refreshing is to hear (generalised) British English of any kind... Seems that Americans not only talk alike but have same voice... Play any computer game and then Beneath a Steel Sky (old one) for example - you'll hear the difference...

Lukas, Gdynia, Poland

I come from the same town as Eliza Doolittle's father. You remember where that was, don't you? Heathrow is there now. From those beginnings I developed a near-received English accent. When I was on the Pacific coast in 1988 I got tired of the natives not knowing which country I came from.

John Bloomfield, Weybridge, UK

"Punjabi in the morning, Hindi at lunchtime and Tamil in the evening."

That is such an ignorant thing to say. I'm sure these people may originate from those places, but I'm pretty sure they'll have the accent of wherever region they were born in.

Marvin Miller, Stevenage, England

Well done Mr Clarkson, you've succeeded in affirming that you are indeed a short-sighted, eighties dinosaur. What started off as quite an interesting article descended into an offensive piece about folk from the midlands, and verging into near racist stereotyping of garage workers. Bravo.

Tom, Birmingham, UK

The educated English voice was as much a delight to the ear, as would be a superb performance of Mozart. One need only think of Gladys Cooper, Edna Best , Clive Brook, Leslie Banks, Ronald Colman, Kenneth Clark, Alan Pryce-Jones,. Where are the snows of yesteryear?

Carl-Edward Endicott, Los Angeles, U.S.A.

Here in Australia there is only one accent in a country 3/4 of the size of the US. The only difference is that those away from the cities speak more slowly and use more upwards inflections and those who are upper class speak a bit more clearly.

Peter, Sydney, Australia

I am amazed that Jeremy left us out. I guess he is saving us for another day.

bill owen, Ystrad Mynach, Wales

I know that Geordies come from Tyneside and Scousers are from Liverpool but where the hell was Loyd Grossman born?

GJB, Slough, Berkshire

This from the man with a perm from Doncaster.

Oh Jeremy, you are such a one

Jim, Birmingham,

Brummies always sound like they are good fun to be around. Love 'em.
Coming from the East Midlands (we've got an AIRPORT!), you could tell which part of town someone was from and some of the changes in accent village to village were huge.
It's true, the north begins at Junction 26 of the M1.

Paul M, Puerto, Spain

I'm from wolverhampton which is very close to Birmingham. When I talk to anyone outside the midlands they will take the mikky calling me a brummie. Whereas if i'm within the black country it is clear as day to all residents that I'm in fact a yam yam (how y'am doin? or y'am alright cock)!

James Caddick, Wolverhampton, England

Those Scholars are wrong about American language, the difference is clear even in Michigan. I personally am a fan of the North Georgian drawl, it sounds like your at a moonshine fueled bonfire whenever a stereotypical rural Georgian opens their mouth.

Nick O., Belleville , USA

I am from Stalybridge and was amazed to find it mentioned in Jeremy's article. Have you ever visited Stalybridge Jeremy i would be intrigued to know?

David Stelfox, Stalybridge, England

Jeremy to write the chapter - Homemade English Accents - you can do no better than to listen to the anchors on South African Broadcasting Corp. "Dollars" and "focus" are gems but there is so much that is equally hilarious.

haralambos, joburg,

I've been working in Norway for 15 years & I am asked why I will not learn and speak Norwegian. Why attempt to learn a language whose population is less than London? What chance do I have when the Northern people cannot understand the Southern people - so much so that subtitles are written on TV.

Nick, Hereford,

Has JC ever wittnessed someone with a 'bridge' accent getting dropped in a glossop pub. I have never risked going in to a pub in glossop!

Dave, 'Bridge,

Yeh, Jeremy I agree with you about the four American accents.
I have lived here(USA) for eight years now and can only distinguish - Texan and the other three, unless you are obviously foreign and try to speak English - I do not call that an American accent.

Terry, Houston, USA

I moved from Canada to the Warwickshire about four years ago and now everything thinks I have an Irish accent. I've just moved to Wales and admit to being slightly concerned about what my accent is going to do now.

Dan, Cardiff,

Message to Joe now living in Hong Kong ... last time I looked Doncaster was very much in the county of South Yorkshire, stick to language and leave Geography to the rest.

Sarah, Doncaster, UK

Out of interest Mr. Clarkson have you ever visited the Midlands? You will find that 'Brummies' do not hold a strong accent as the one you are referring to. The strongest accents are located in West Bromwich known as the 'black country'. Stick to your cars & leave vocabularly analysis to Bill Bryson!

Alison Parry, Birmingham, England

I have to agree on the Brummie accent...I will never, ever, get an account with the Halifax thanks to years of that inane Brummie person's voiceovers!

Yet for some inexplicable reason, I used to sit through loads of Jasper Carrott shows without any problem...old age must make us less tolerant.

John Robinson, Thetford, UK

By a goat?

Peter, Cheshire,

At a meeting several years ago I had to speak to a small group of US, Canadian & Australian's. I was asked which part of the UK I was from? Auckland NZ, I said and I added that anyone from the UK would be horrified by the implication that my KOIWEE lingo sounded remotely similar.

Kim , Auckland, NZ

I have to disagree on the American accent part--I met a Virginian once who complained about people asking him which part of England he's from. But I've yet to hear of ANYONE mistaking a Texas accent.

Michael, Pueblo, Colorado, US

It dough 'alf give me pleasure to remoind yow that Shakespeare sounded a lot more Brummie than Dimbleby.

Bob Hughes, Wolverhampton, UK

Of the four nations of North Am (US, Canada, Mexico, Maine), I can vouch that Maine has at least ten accents of it's own. I'm familiar with another two dozen along the east coast US. Additionally, I translate "Kentucky" and "Southern" for English speakers. Bubba, Redneck and Nawlins are beyond me.

Dan, Portland, US

Eh up lad. Your wrong about ' definite article in Yorkshire. It's not a pause and a nod. It can be found only by an oscilloscope that monitors the briefest vibration of the vocal chords before the article is gobbed off. And Doncaster's no longer in Yorkshire. They butchered the county in ' 60s.

Joe Worseley, Hong Kong,

I don't know what 'scholars' you're talking about when you claim there are only four accents in America, you can find four accents in Chicago. What a bizarre assertion. The American South has a vast range of dialects, from West Texas, to Piedmont Georgian to the several dialects in Virginia alone.

Tobin Manley, Madison, Wisconsin, USA

Your wrong about the filling stations. The proprietor's may have dark skins, but the all speak with the local accent.

Terence Hollingworth, Blagnac , France

The distinctions between UK and US spellings are newer than you think, Jeremy. There are early editions of Dickens in which 'cheque' is spelt 'check'. And there are old graves in English churchyards where 'honour' is spelt 'honor'.

Bob Samms, Warwick, UK

Dear Jeremy:
if you heard the Spanish accent of my (spoken) English,
you would be weeping for one month.
P.S.: I spent one night in Doncaster, long ago, when travelling from Edinbourgh to London by the cheap and frank way of hitch-hiking. It was summer, yet it rained and rained and rained and..

Tato Dulanci, Vitoria, Spain

put kettle on ma--- from a bradford lad in australia

dave, melbourne, australia

I was once informed that I had a ‘thick northern accent’ by a fellow student who himself spoke with some sort of posh southern accent. Admittedly, I had just referred to him as a ‘southern pouf’. His accent was unusual though for someone who, like Mr Clarkson, came from Doncaster. I think it was because his dad was a Kent.

Ray, Chorley, Lancashire

A wonderful article. Jeremy, you're one of the most consistently entertaining writers I know of. Well done-- again.

Oneil, Washington, DC, USA

Heh, up here in Scotland the dialects are even harder to work out, not aided in the slightest by the fact Scots really is a different language to English, with an entire vocabulary, rules and the like not present in any form of English.

Math Campbell, Greenock, Scotland

Peter Sissons , that well known reader of the national news wonder were he came from ?

Alan Earle, Liverpool, UK

my son got his brummie accent from rosie & jim.
before ever setting foot in the uk.

jon field, atlit, wherethesunshines

The only accent which has become prolific in the UK that I cannot stand is what Stephen Fry referred to as something like the "Californian/Australian inquisitive" - how the end of every statement is accented to sound like a question. Neighbours has a lot to answer for.

Keith H, Kent, UK

I reckon there are five accents in the US. New England, Boston, New York, Southern, and everybody else. After that it's just a matter of how broad the accent is. Example, New York Bronx versus New York suburb. Actually, you can probably eliminate New England as only seven people live there.

Dennis, Gaithersburg, USA

The reason Brummies and their fellow West Midlanders sound not thick/permanently depressed is because theirs is the only English accent from anywhere in the world that is pitched in a minor rather than a major key, at least according to a language professor at Nottingham University I once met.

Matt, Hove, UK

I have a Brummie accent and everyone I meet loves me for it. I have been living in Asia the past two years and there's no stereotypical nonsense here about Brummies being thick, so I am treated as 'normal'. In fact, I love to exaggerate it for comic effect. Estuary English is bland, boring, robotic.

Tommiano, bandar seri begawan, brunei

The Apple ipod offers support in various languages including: English and English (UK). Nice.

Tom, Edo, Japan

Four accents across America... not bloody likely. As my linguistics prof explained it, the longer a language is in an area the more localized accents become. As a boy in Nova Scotia, locals (and even I three years after immigration) could tell from which county where a speaker came.

Matthew, Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada

Peter Sissons is scouse and can still speak it fluently. QVC purposely sited their national call-centre on Merseyside for the accent.
And you're wrong about Yorkshiremen; the rest of us see them as the nearest thing to home-grown Aussies - not a pretty thought.

Ken Leyland, Liverpool, UK

Jeremy, you'll find a lot more than four zigzagging across the US; there are that many in the city of Chicago alone!

BTW, thanks for the warning about Somerset. I don't think I'll be able to watch another re-run of HBO's Rome without thinking of the goat sacrifice.

kimmy, Chicago,